Vacation is here, I'm afraid.
I've been so tired today. In a profound, fatigueish way. It's my second day of my 5 week vacation, and I'm at home with my daughter. When you're exhausted like this, it doesn't help much to have a soon-to-be 4-year-old seeking constant attention, saying "Daddy" every other second. Making a song with the lyrics "Daddydaddydad, daddelydad" even when she have nothing to communicate about. Just making sure my reflex controlled listening based attention is on her. So, vacay is yay!
I have a theory that this loss of energy is in (a large) part made up of my sudden lack of physical excercise. From commuting 35 km on bike 4-5 days a week to nothing is a big deal, even if it's only been a weekend+ since I stopped commuting. As anecdotal evidence I present 1) it got better when we played hide'n'seek down by the water, and 2) a whole new me unfolded when I got to take the mountainbike on a 50 min ride once my fiancee got home.
Another part is not having a plan for the day. I like to frame my days and weeks, it's good for my mental health1. Today I had just rudimentary ideas about the day, and most of them turned to cr*p because they were incompatible with hanging out with a child. Thus, I felt drained of energy and felt a loss of direction. Tomorrow I will try to be better prepared. I already have a couple of ideas that combines pure play with preparing for more renovation. Hopefully it will work for both father and child (praise the shopping carts in the hardware store that are also a small car).
On the good side, We've been outside all day, and on my bike ride I could pass the hardware store and pick up some stuff needed to fix the bicycle child transport wagon2. So now the thing works again, and my daughter loves taking trips in it. It will be good for the coming weeks to have it around.
Which is also why working is pretty good for me. As long as it's not full time, that sh*t is toxic in my line of work.↩
I'm sure there is a better word, it's a two wheeled wagon you put your child in and it attaches to the back of your bike. Please enlighten me with a good english word for it.↩